A few minutes since the vacation time started, but my eyes are still on the phone in case there are last minute closures. The weather’s around 30C, full summer mode’s on, but my balcony always has the nice breeze and the cute swan family view, the combination of which is a proved relaxation therapy. Better than my grandma’s valerian tablets…
I haven’t been to a long vacation since December. It so happens that my perception of time gets structured by “before” and “after” certain vacations especially the ones where I expect to see and live through something utterly new, stunning, unexpected… The place I am going soon does not even have a “lonely planet” guidebook, which I hope is a good sign. So just to leave a few contemplative scratches in this digital space of mine about the period from December to July, before starting the next phase with another travel adventure, here is what I wanted to put down below.
It has been a blast. These 7 month period was a continuously ramping up wave of so much hard work, fun, adrenaline, opportunities and new people, who would suddenly fill in the gaps I would never expect to ever be filled again.
It was the time of crazy parties and nightlife, endless laughter, sparkle and dance. I think the last time I have been there was in 2004, when I was barely 20.
It was the time for appreciation, when what you do for years suddenly gets noticed. Not a big deal, I know, and happens with most of the people every now and then, but it left me with a warm chest and loads of motivation to do better and be more.
It was the time when my endless raving about Rotterdam being my home actually materialized in a real home, another very human “not big deal”, but when I think about an average piano player from a small developing country doing things just on my own, it is not so bad after all. And I am so totally done with unpacking furniture and other random purchases, that I will stop here and just procrastinate a bit (when it comes to decorating the new home). Just a view of a carton box sends me into convulsions nowadays ☺
Most importantly it was time, when someone just suddenly gave me back the lost belief in all-in-one decency, strength, fairness and proper human relationship when it comes to just being there for you for nothing much in return, not even a friendship. I am scared to believe it actually is possible, so I end up being surprised and ready to cry at every occasion this is being proved to me. The scary part is, I am not sure I would survive losing the feeling again…
And it was the time when in spite of all the sarcasm, wisdom and all other heavy crap collected along the years, I started breathing in the life again, in all its intensity, consuming and enjoying every single moment. And hoping that this cycle will last slightly longer than the others that came and passed. Mono no aware.
No more messages and calls, so I will just put my camera to charge and start packing. And trying to memorize this feeling, it feels pretty much like happiness in the moment…
I haven’t been to a long vacation since December. It so happens that my perception of time gets structured by “before” and “after” certain vacations especially the ones where I expect to see and live through something utterly new, stunning, unexpected… The place I am going soon does not even have a “lonely planet” guidebook, which I hope is a good sign. So just to leave a few contemplative scratches in this digital space of mine about the period from December to July, before starting the next phase with another travel adventure, here is what I wanted to put down below.
It has been a blast. These 7 month period was a continuously ramping up wave of so much hard work, fun, adrenaline, opportunities and new people, who would suddenly fill in the gaps I would never expect to ever be filled again.
It was the time of crazy parties and nightlife, endless laughter, sparkle and dance. I think the last time I have been there was in 2004, when I was barely 20.
It was the time for appreciation, when what you do for years suddenly gets noticed. Not a big deal, I know, and happens with most of the people every now and then, but it left me with a warm chest and loads of motivation to do better and be more.
It was the time when my endless raving about Rotterdam being my home actually materialized in a real home, another very human “not big deal”, but when I think about an average piano player from a small developing country doing things just on my own, it is not so bad after all. And I am so totally done with unpacking furniture and other random purchases, that I will stop here and just procrastinate a bit (when it comes to decorating the new home). Just a view of a carton box sends me into convulsions nowadays ☺
Most importantly it was time, when someone just suddenly gave me back the lost belief in all-in-one decency, strength, fairness and proper human relationship when it comes to just being there for you for nothing much in return, not even a friendship. I am scared to believe it actually is possible, so I end up being surprised and ready to cry at every occasion this is being proved to me. The scary part is, I am not sure I would survive losing the feeling again…
And it was the time when in spite of all the sarcasm, wisdom and all other heavy crap collected along the years, I started breathing in the life again, in all its intensity, consuming and enjoying every single moment. And hoping that this cycle will last slightly longer than the others that came and passed. Mono no aware.
No more messages and calls, so I will just put my camera to charge and start packing. And trying to memorize this feeling, it feels pretty much like happiness in the moment…
